“A man who has friends must himself
be friendly, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”
(Proverbs 18:24NKJV)
The Scriptures
speak much to us about friendship. The subject of friendship is given a high
priority in the Bible. We are warned, for instance, of the evil of friendships
with the world (James 4:4). He who will be the friend of the world is the enemy
of God. Further, the Bible teaches us that we are to establish our friendships
based upon faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.
King Solomon here
recommends friendship to us, and shows, what we must do that we may bond and
cultivate friendship; we must show ourselves friendly. This is one of
the greatest verses on the subject of friendship, and it makes two vital
points. First, to have friends we must be friendly. In other words, the secret
to meaningful relationships is not found in seeking friends but in being a
friend. The second is an ultimate Friend for each of us, a Friend who is closer
than a brother, a Friend who is truly interested in us with no thought of
what's in it for Him. Somewhere there's someone who cares about us more than
anyone else. There is someone who loved and laid His life for me and you. His
Name Is Jesus, he said …. “You are my friends.....I have called you
friends" (John 15:13-15) This is why
Joseph M. Scriven wrote in his poem, “What a Friend we have in Jesus,
all our sins and grief’s to bear! What a privilege to carry everything to God
in prayer, what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear, All
because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.” Jesus alone knows our
every thought, word, and deed; past, present, and future, yet still pours out
his love. Not only does Jesus love us, but he extends his grace to free us from
our self-afflicted failures.
Generally speaking whatever age you are, your friends are
an important element in your life. Here are few compelling reasons to keep
friendships alive while making new ones. Changes are inevitable, an ongoing
part of our lives. However, we can continue nurturing our friendships if we
have the desire to do so. A true friend
will try to understand the absence of a friend in times of crisis and would
accept any forms of connection that is available. In this world of technology,
distance is no longer a burden in nurturing a friendship. We can always connect
if we find way because according the secular research friendship is greatly
beneficial to the following areas of our life.
1)
Edify us to overcome Anxiety and worry. We
all know that loneliness makes us unhappy, but research suggests it can be a
killer, too. A study found lonely people reacted more intensely to life’s
challenges. For some people, that led to elevated levels of the stress hormone
epinephrine, which can result in high blood pressure, heart attacks and strokes
over time.
2)
Motivate us to maintain Physical fitness-Health habits can be contagious among
friends, so lead the way. US researchers who analyzed the social ties of more
than 12,000 people found clusters of obese people and clusters of thin people,
suggesting that friends have a strong influence on each other’s weight.
3)
Help us to live Longer Life-Reach out to friends with health problems –
they may find it tough to ask for your support. According to researchers who looked at 500 women with symptoms of
coronary artery disease, those with few personal contacts in their day-to- day
life were twice as likely to die over the following two to four years as those
who had more friends.
4)
Encourage us to keep Healthy relationships- Friendships give you the opportunity to
sharpen your relationships skills, which, research suggests, can help pave the
way for stronger intimate relationships. Studies indicate that people who lack
close relationships are more prone to depression, alcohol and drug abuse.
5)
Inspire us to be Creative and Proactive- Children who are good at sports tend to be
happier with their friendships, and researchers say the same applies to adults.
Bolster your friendships by exercising with pals.
There is an example
of true friendship in the Bible between David and Saul's son Jonathan, who, in
spite of his father Saul's pursuit of David and attempts to kill him, stood by
his friend. You will find that story in 1 Samuel chapter 18 through chapter 20.
These two men truly cared for each other and had great trust and confidence in
one another. David was running for his life from Jonathan's father, Saul.
Jonathan recognized that David was innocent. Because of the true friendship
they shared, David survived Saul's assassination attempts and went on to become
one of Israel's greatest. Proverbs is another good source of wisdom regarding
friends. "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for
adversity" (proverbs 17:17). "A man of many companions may come to
ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother" (proverbs
18:24). The issue here is that in order to have a friend, one must be a friend.
"Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses"
(proverbs 27:6).
Later King David
was disappointed in his friends. He could not trust his closest friend. (Psa.
35:14-16) This is not so with our friend Jesus. He is a forever friend, when we
are faithful like Abraham. (Isa 41:8) He is a friend who “loves at all times”.
(Prov. 17:17) He will "stick closer than a brother". (Prov.18:24)
The important trait
of such true friendship is that we are not much worried about exposing
ourselves. We speak about everything in our mind without worrying about what
our friends will think. We are sure that they will take our talk in the spirit
it was made. We are unguarded and open with friends in our talk. The book
of Proverbs is another good source of wisdom regarding friends. “A friend
loves at all times, and a A true friend is a little more than a very good
friend. A true friend will support you even if it hurts his/her own interest. A
true friend will understand your motives and needs and will be with you without
any analysis or criticism. A true friend will come forward to help without any
request and be with us in need without showing it or expecting anything in
return. With a true friend, you can be sure that you will get help to the
extent possible by him/her. Nothing will remain unturned. A mother is a true
friend of her children. If we share such relations with an adult we can say
that we are true friends. Friends are of like mind, as most common principle of
friendship goes” Can two walk together, except they are agreed?”
(Amos 3:3)
True friendship
stories are found throughout the Bible. In Genesis 18:17-33, we read about God
sharing His intentions with Abraham. Abraham responds by telling God his
thoughts and feelings about the situation. God and Abraham are able to do this
because they trusted and respected each other.
In Exodus 33:11,
“The LORD would speak to Moses face to face, as a man speaks with his friend.
Then Moses would return to the camp, but his young aide Joshua son of Nun did
not leave the tent.” God spoke to Moses like a friend directly, face to
face. It is more like a meeting a person and speaking directly instead of
talking over the phone. If we therefore spend time with God through prayer and
walk according to His word, He will talk with us and lead us by His
hand. A true friend will share what he has. This is so with Jesus. We
do not have to be rich to have the friendship of Jesus. He was sent to poor of
this world.( Luke. 4:18 ) " Though He was rich , yet for our sakes He
became poor, that we through His poverty might become rich. (11Cor. 8:9)
Our text in New Living
Translation says “There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend
sticks closer than a brother.” And NIV says “A man of many companions may
come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” (Proverbs
18:24) We should translate our text this way: A man of friends may be broken
up, but (by contrast) there is lover who sticks closer than a brother. The idea
is that the first part of the verse, the first clause, emphasizes the truth of
the limitation of human friendships, of even hallowed and intimate friendships
in this present life. A man of friends, that is, a person who possesses
friends, may be broken up. He may still suffer an experience in life which
devastates him. The word "broken up" literally means "to break in
pieces by a blow." But, and here is the contrast, But there is a
friend who sticks closer than a brother.” There is a friend whose
friendship has no limitations. There is a friend whose friendship will never
fail, nothing can separate you from it, and nothing can part us from Him.
Paul said in Romans
8:35, "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation,
or distress, For I am persuaded that nothing can separate us from the love of
God in Christ Jesus our Lord." Jesus Christ is the unique friend. He is
the friend that sticks closer than a brother. He is in a class by Himself. No
one else can be a friend as He is a friend that stays
closer than a brother, and that friend is Jesus. Jesus Himself
identifies Himself as the friend of God's people in John 15:13-15. “Greater love has no one than this: to
lay down
one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I
no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s
business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned
from my Father I have made known to you.”It is in this aspect, as
a friend, that He discloses to us the depths of His heart, the depths of God's
purpose and love.
Jesus is the friend
that sticks closer than a brother was testified also by His enemies,
in Mathew 11:19. His enemies identified Him as our friend when, observing
His mingling with His people whom He had come to call to repentance, and seeing
that He was unafraid to associate Himself with them, they said in mockery:
"He is a friend of publicans and sinners."
And, if you still
have any doubt that this is Jesus Christ who is the friend that stays closer
than a brother, then hear His own words in Mathew 28:20 when He ascended
up into heaven. He said, "Lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of
the world." There is a limitation
of all human friendships. No matter how close and intimate, no matter
how holy and sanctified in Jesus Christ, a person who has friends may yet be
broken up. The mere fact of human friendship cannot protect you from being
devastated. You may, indeed, come to a point where your friends, your intimate
friends, a husband or a wife or that close friend, cannot stand between you and
death and adversity.
Do you have friends? Yet, you may be broken
up, that is, you may come to a time in your life's journey where these friends
cannot walk with you. It may be some mental agony, some profound and deep
anxiety or anguish. It may be some personal fear or struggle that you simply
cannot divulge to anybody, that you do not even know words that could explain
what you are feeling. It may be upon a bed of pain with your friends and loved
ones standing by you, unable to know what you are experiencing at that moment
in your heart. Then there is death. What friend on the earth, no matter how
intimate that person may be with you, will go with you in death, will be able
to hold your hand as you pass through death? No. No matter how intimate your
friends are, the hand of that friendship is parted in death. They let go of you
in death. You pass over without them, without your wife, without your husband,
without your friend, without your dear loved one.
Yes, he who has
friends may be broken up. But there is a friend that stays closer than a
brother. There is a friend to whom there are no limitations. That is,
there is no darkness or pain, sorrow or fear, not even death and the grave,
that can part us from Him. There is a friend that sticks closer than a brother.
You see, behind this proverb is the great truth revealed in the Bible that God,
of free grace, has placed His children in Jesus Christ, and has done
this before the world began.
Now, when it speaks
here of a brother, it is referring to the highest affection which is known
among men, the affection of a physical brother to his physical brother. Under
the blessing of God, that is a very intimate tie. That, too, needs the grace of
God and the cultivating of the Word of God because that is not always so.
Sometimes physical brothers can be opposites. They can be so different. The
Bible gives us the example of Jacob and Esau. They were twin brothers, yet they
were not close. Spiritually they were different, totally different. But yet, it
is true that between one's physical brother or sister can exist a most intimate
bond and tie. There is nothing so precious as to love your flesh and blood
brother or sister, to enjoy each other's company, to have an ease in each
other's fellowship, to have a kindred feeling and to know what the other person
is feeling, and to have someone who is of a kindred soul and has sympathy for
your thoughts and loves you to such an extent that he will die for you. Oh, the
love between brothers can be so deep and intimate and real.
But Scripture is
declaring here that Jesus Christ sticks closer than any brother. He is the
faithful friend. The word "sticks" is literally "cleave" or
"adhere." It refers to the soldering of metals, of joining metals
together. Jesus Christ is the one who sticks, who is faithful to His children.
Jesus Christ, the friend who is closer than any brother, He was our friend to stand in our place and
to die for us. 2 Timothy 2:13, "He cannot deny himself." He
abode faithful; He is the friend closer than any brother. Do you live in the
consciousness of His abiding faithfulness and love? if you live in sin He will
not give you to know that He is your friend. If you walk in deception or self-righteousness
He will put distance between you and Him, He will not give you to experience
this blessing. No, He grants it only in the way of obedience, only in the way
of knowing and confessing and hating our sins. In that way He reveals the
blessedness and the wonder that He is our faithful friend and Savior.
In your hour of
desperation, a true friend will support you even if the whole world opposes
you. As Jesus taught in the parable of Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37) A true
friend is not an opportunist. Rather he understands and readily willing
to help and share compassionate feelings in soul, body and mind. There is a
true friend who chosen you first and knew you before you were born. Jesus
Christ the son of the living God. He is the truest friend, who will never
forsake or disappoint. He’s a friend that you can count on, and trust.
Jesus is the only friend you can call a True Friend, who is always
faithful and just. Your heart, your soul, your mind, Jesus is the greatest
friend you are ever going to find. A friend who will stand by you, Is a real
friend, indeed. Jesus is the one true friend; you are always going to
need.
Jesus
is the only true friend, who loved us unconditionally, revealing all that
the Father said, in the scriptures. He revealed it to his disciples from time
to time. Only when a friend shares his secrets with the other, he is a real
friend. Jesus never revealed your secrets to other, he forgives your sin,
when you confess, and forgets it forever. A true friend forgives once you
confess your sins, believe Jesus has forgiven you, don’t keep on having the
same guilt inside your heart, even after you confess. But if you don’t confess,
he will reveal the same through his chosen servants. God reveals his secrets to
his servants; nothing can be hidden from the servants of God.
True friendship involves relationship. Many people say, "Oh, he's a good
friend of mine," yet they never take time to spend time with that
"good friend." Friendship takes time: time to get to know each other,
time to build shared memories, time to invest in each other's growth. Honesty is always first and foremost in a
relationship. Even when speaking the truth in love is difficult and
painful, a true friend will lovingly confront. Jesus is our best friend for he
will not fail us, but always corrects us when we need it. Freedom exists
in our relationship with Jesus to be forthright; he will confront our faults as
only a true friend can do. Jesus is an excellent friend.
A good friend understands and emotionally supports their companion even if their
failures are the result of their own stupidity and stubbornness. True friends
trust in one another implicitly even when circumstances would question that
loyalty. Jesus made a covenant bond with us; he will never leave us or forsake
us. Jesus is a truly reliable friend. Finding a good friend is like looking for
a diamond on a beach of glass. They all sparkle but the true valuable diamond
that is worth everything, and is oh so hard to find. That’s the challenge of
finding a true friend. What characteristics make up a true friend? Let’s find
out.
A true friend is always “there” for you. When your heart is broken over a lost lover
or a missed promotion or when someone has been cruel to you. That friend is
there to listen, let you vent, hold you, and give good council
A true friend is there in spite of your bad
choices. That friend will
stand by you when everyone else around you has written you off as a loser. That
friend will help you up, dust you off and walk with you in spite of public
opinion against them for doing it. A good friend like this is almost impossible
to find; a true diamond among glass. If you can find one friend like this, you
can be counted among the richest people in the world regardless of how much
money you have in the bank.
I’m sure that there are people out there who can be
considered true friends. I have few friends that I know I can go to when I’m in
trouble, but the ONLY friend I have that I can talk to every day, tell my
deepest feelings and secrets to any time; day or night; and know that it will
go no further. That friend is Jesus. He is very real and very near to me. He
loves me when I’m right or wrong, when I screw up and make a total mess of my
life. The Bible says that he is a friend that sticks closer than a brother
(Proverbs 18:24).
A true friend is like a gem, but many a times, we tend to take friends
for granted, just as we take this short journey through life for
granted. “Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born
until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is
born.”What is it that you cherish most in life? Some say it would be their
closest and best friends. At the root of it all, we must always maintain the
center of our being and know that there is only true friendship in Jesus
Christ...the only one who is the way, the truth and the life. (John 14:6)...the
friend and companion that we must know, like and trust. In a nutshell; He was
killed for your sins and He rose again on the third day because He was a
sinless person. His death and resurrection allows you to come to Him freely to
enter in to a personal relationship with Him. To become His friend! To finally
have a friend who is always on your side and won’t desert you no matter what
you do.
Even if you are one of those lucky people who have a lot
of people who really care about you, there is no friendship that can compare to
the friendship that a relationship with Jesus Christ has. There is one thing
that Jesus has that NO human or any other leader has: the PEACE that passes all
understanding. That peace is so powerful. It helps get you through the toughest
times and makes the good times so much more wonderful. He alone can give you
that peace.
Trust is essential to true friendship. We all need someone with whom we can share our lives, thoughts, feelings, and frustrations. We need to be able to share our deepest secrets with someone, without worrying that those secrets will end up on the media and Internet the next day! Failing to be trustworthy with those intimate secrets can destroy a friendship in a hurry. Faithfulness and loyalty are key to true friendship. Without them, we often feel betrayed, left out, and lonely. In true friendship, there is no backbiting, no negative thoughts, no turning away.
True friendship requires certain accountability factors. Real friends encourage one another and forgive one another where there has been an offense. Genuine friendship supports during times of struggle. Friends are dependable. In true friendship, unconditional love develops. We love our friends no matter what and we always want the best for our friends.
Real and true friendship involves freedom of choice, responsibility,
truth, and forgiveness. Peter and Jesus give us this example: Peter, afraid for
his life after Jesus is led away from the Garden of Gethsemane, denies knowing
Jesus (John 18). As He is led away by His accusers, Jesus casts a look toward
Peter that says, "I knew you would deny Me, and I forgive you" (John
21).
Real friendship looks at the heart, not just the "packaging." Genuine friendship loves for love's sake, not just for what it can get in return. True friendship is both challenging and exciting. It risks, it overlooks faults, and it loves unconditionally, but it also involves being truthful, even though it may hurt. Genuine friendship, also called "agape" love, comes from the Lord. The Lord Jesus calls us His friends and He laid down His life for us (John 15).
A real friend is one who shares your feelings and be with you in all your troubles. In our world there are lots of friendships. We share messages / sms with our friends and also celebrate a day called ‘friendship day’. But there are very few friends in this world who care for us and help us in our troubles. Real friends need to share, help and revive each other, if you can’t do that, you cannot be called a trust worthy and true friend.
Real friendship looks at the heart, not just the "packaging." Genuine friendship loves for love's sake, not just for what it can get in return. True friendship is both challenging and exciting. It risks, it overlooks faults, and it loves unconditionally, but it also involves being truthful, even though it may hurt. Genuine friendship, also called "agape" love, comes from the Lord. The Lord Jesus calls us His friends and He laid down His life for us (John 15).
A real friend is one who shares your feelings and be with you in all your troubles. In our world there are lots of friendships. We share messages / sms with our friends and also celebrate a day called ‘friendship day’. But there are very few friends in this world who care for us and help us in our troubles. Real friends need to share, help and revive each other, if you can’t do that, you cannot be called a trust worthy and true friend.
Finally, the real definition of a true friend comes from the Apostle Paul: "For scarcely for a righteous man will one die; yet perhaps for a good man someone would even dare to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:7-8). "Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends." (John 15:13). Now, that is true friendship! We give gifts and sometimes very valuable ones, to our friends but the love and sacrifice of Jesus is incomparable to our earthly friendship. John 15:14 says- “You are my friends if you do what I command”.You don’t have to die for Jesus, but you only obey his commandments you will indeed become his true friend.
We all really need friends. It should be true in our
marriages, with our children, and even with extended family members. The Lord
desires this kind of truly deep-level committed friendships to become more of a
reality in our lives instead of something that is a rarity. This must begin
with our own motivation to be a covenant friend, like Jesus: A covenant
friend who really loves you by covering your sin. A friend who loves you for
the rest of your life and will always be there for you when you are going
through life’s hardest times. A true friend will give you wise counsel and tell
you the Truth instead of manipulating you. He will listen to you when you need
to get the pain of your heart out in the open even when you’re wrong. Christ is
a real friend who is a source of comfort in times of grief and pain. He is a
faithful friend who gives the grace of God to strengthen and encourage your
soul and a caring friend with whom you are able to share your life’s deepest
hopes, dreams and desires without rejection. He is a compassionate friend who
weeps with you when you are weeping and a passionate friend who laughs with you
when you are laughing. Jesus Christ is a reliable and trustworthy friend with
whom you are able to share your life’s deepest secrets and feel confident that He
will always love you.
To be a covenant friend you must love Christ first, – And a covenant friend, is willing to lay down his life for you because he has truly known the love of Christ. Do you need a friend? God wants to be your true friend. Are you longing for companionship? God is always with you (Hebrews 13:5). Who do you know who needs a true friend today? God wants you to befriend others. He calls us to be His hands and feet in a world starving for true friendship.
Now, Jesus already knows all about you, as does His
Father, God, in Heaven. They designed and created you, saw all the unfortunate
things that have happened in your life, and have been waiting patiently all
your life for you to reach the point where you want good fellowship restored
between you and them, as it was meant to be. This happens when you believe that
Jesus died on the cross for your sins and acknowledge and confess your sin.
When you believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and accept Him as your personal
Savoir and Lord immediately you are cleansed of every wrong thought, word or
deed you have ever done or had. God completely washes away every record of sin
tied to your name! You may or may not have a tremendous sense of a lifting of
guilt and shame. This is a spiritual transaction, and sometimes emotions don't
catch up until later. If a sense of guilt or depression continues, it might be
wise to list all the sins that have been plaguing your conscience and one by
one, tell God you are sorry for them, and would like them washed away in the
blood Jesus shed on the cross for you. If you have been sincere, with nothing
held back, then you may just as confidently claim the promise in I John 1:9,
where we are told, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just, and
will cleanse us of every sin."
Believe also that Jesus rose again from the dead and went back to Heaven to prepare a home for us. If He had not, we might be forgiven but would have no power to live holy and pleasingly before God. The same Jesus that forgives us, by His resurrection, helps us to be good. If you want to meet Jesus now, you can. He is waiting to hear your cry and call to Him. He desperately wants to come into your heart and be your Lord and best friend.
Believe also that Jesus rose again from the dead and went back to Heaven to prepare a home for us. If He had not, we might be forgiven but would have no power to live holy and pleasingly before God. The same Jesus that forgives us, by His resurrection, helps us to be good. If you want to meet Jesus now, you can. He is waiting to hear your cry and call to Him. He desperately wants to come into your heart and be your Lord and best friend.
God Bless you
